people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
