HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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