she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
