it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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