Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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