Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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