Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
