North Korea, Best Korea!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
