If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need water and some morals
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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