woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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