i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
