she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
