After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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