You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
