if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
