those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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