sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
