What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize