loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
