I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
