You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
