I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he fucked my hip out of place.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
