I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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