This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
