Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
