put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
