Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She's the barista slut.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
