My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
