I won't be sarcastic... just naked
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
