Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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