Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
