"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
