I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
