The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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