The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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