I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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