We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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