No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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