Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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