I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
