We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
