what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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