weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
