we made out on top of his cat.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
