This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
third nipple confirmed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
