I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
