blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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