i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
