Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
