dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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