It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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